3 Simple Thoughts That Will Energize all Your Relationships

Relationships get shallow and boring.  We may live together but drift apart.  We lose the excitement and energy we once had.

You can ENERGIZE every relationship with three simple principles:

1.  LISTEN better.

• We need to “shut up” more and focus.  When you become bored with a partner or friend, you “hear” them but don’t “listen” to them.  You miss details.  You fail to get their point.  You think you know everything they are going to say before they say it.
  
  

• A person is an endless well.  They have experiences, thoughts, memories, opinions, dreams, and talents you have not even begun to tap.  Sit up straight, look in their eyes, lean in, and prepare to discover something amazing about every single person in your life.

2.  Be EMPATHETIC. 

• I have read that criminals often lack empathy.  Empathy is entering in to the feelings of others:  their disappointments, their pain, their rejection, etc.  Dry, boring relationships have lost all their empathy.  There is no sense of feeling, concern, and compassion for what they are going through.
  
  

• Change that.  As you listen (for a good while), the person you are engaged with is going to mention a problem in their life.  Whether it is physical, financial, job, marriage, parenting or a host of other human challenges, you can “move in” to let them see you care.  It has been said that “people don’t CARE how much you KNOW until they KNOW how much you CARE.”

“Get off your phone and LISTEN to the person sitting right there in front of you. ”

3.  Receive FEEDBACK.

• This is the big one.  A person whom you listen to and empathize with will eventually feel comfortable to give you some FEEDBACK.  They close the loop.  They tell you what they think about you.  They mention little things that bother or bless them in your life.
  
  

• Feedback is GOLD.  It is the highest fruit of a committed relationship.  Companies crave it.  They respond and implement changes.  They see it as their pathway to improvement.  Why don’t we?
  
  

• Thank your friend or partner for their feedback.  Others may be thinking it but they had the courage to say it.  They are not “criticizing and attacking.”  They are “changing and adjusting.”

I want to challenge you to make every relationship in your life better with these three principles. 

Try these simple steps this week:

1.    Get off your phone and LISTEN to the person sitting right there in front of you.  If you play video games, surf the web, or look at Instagram while a person is talking to you it is the height of rejection for them.

2.    Don’t give everyone advice.  Give them empathy.  Answering their fears or failures before they can even describe them is rude.  Engage with them the moment their feelings start to come out and seek to feel what they are feeling before giving advice.

3.    Make at least one change a friend or spouse suggests you implement.  Don’t be unteachable.  Thank them for the tip.

 Try all three.  See if your relationships don’t change.  Just giving you some feedback!