Here Is How Loyalty Can Become Your Worst Enemy Or Your Greatest Ally
Have you ever been caught between two loyalties? Chances are, you are not in a “test”: you are in a “trap.”
Nothing destroys relationships like divided loyalties.
Look back over the people who used to be your closest friends. Now, somehow, you no longer speak.
How did it happen? Misplaced loyalties.
You may be in that now: two people you love, both demanding your loyalty. Stepping between loyalties is like putting your head in the lion’s mouth!
How should you handle it? What is the way out?
Be loyal to the truth.
God’s Word is truth. What does the Bible say is correct in this conflict?
If you side with eternal Scripture, your highest loyalty overrides any earthly loyalty.
Make it plain to both people demanding your loyalty that you “must obey God rather than men” (Acts 5:29).
Loyalty is listening.
You don’t have to agree with someone to listen to them. Loyalty is standing beside a person, honoring a person, listening to a person.
You might disagree with them. That does not make you disloyal. In fact, it makes you a better friend.
“Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Prov. 27: 10)
Refuse to choose.
People demand that you choose between them and another person. They see that as showing your loyalty.
You don’t have to choose. Let them know that you have chosen to be loyal to both of them. You will listen to them, keep confidentiality, and pray for the dispute to settle.
Choose principles, not persons.
Loyalty is not limiting.
A person who demands your total loyalty in every circumstance, regardless if they are wrong, is a small person.
This is a big world. Yes, family is important. Yes, your football team is important. Yes, your political party is important.
That does not mean you are not free to speak to, learn from, engage with, and even be friends with others those people despise.
Grow up. Grow larger than loyalties that demand limitation.
Recognize a loyalty trap early.
I am convinced that Satan engineers some pretty thorny loyalty traps. He places you in a situation that is impossible. If you take the correct action, you will be see by a dear friend as being disloyal.
Excuse yourself early on from situations where your loyalty between two people may destroy your relationship with both of the people!
Loyalty is a wonderful thing. One of the Hebrew names of God is “Loyal Love” (Ex. 34:6). It means a covenant love, a sacrificial, giving love.
The ultimate loyalty is not choosing between friendships. It is a committed married life where two people commit to staying together “until death parts us.”
Next year will be Melanie and my 47th year together. How have we made it? “Loyal love.”
Learn to love. Walk in love. Demonstrate your loyalty by your serving.
But don’t get caught between two opposing loyalties…
