Marriage is the Greatest School of Character

We all need to make changes.  Often, we can’t even see what needs to be changed about ourselves.  That’s where marriage comes in.  This is BIG:

“If I will let Him, God will work through my spouse to change me into a far better person.”

 Here is how that process works:

1.  Your spouse knows you better than any other person on the planet.

• You can’t hide your character flaws from your spouse.  Morning to night, day after day, they observe your best and worst moments.  They become the best resource you have…for who you really are!
  
  

• Why not listen to them?  Why do we spend a lifetime defending our faults and flaws when their observation is almost always accurate?

2.  If I get defensive, I will never change.

• If your collar is sticking out of your jacket and your spouse reached out to fix it, would you get defensive?  Of course not.  You know they can see something you cannot (and so can everybody else!).
  
  

• Remember:  They are not attacking you, they are adjusting you.  Anything your spouse points out that you are unaware of is a BLESSING. 

“If you will let Him, God will work through your spouse to change you into a far better person.”

3.  Divorce comes from a defensive, hard heart.

• Jesus said, “Because of your hardness of  heart Moses permitted you to divorce…” (Mt. 19:8).  When we build up layer after layer of defensive denial, our hearts gradually close to any tender relationship with our spouse.
  
  

• There are multiple reasons people divorce.  However, one of the most obvious is when they stop receiving each other’s “feedback.”  If you never change, you may end up going from one marriage to the next.  Stop the cycle.  Change.

4.  You have to be flexible, pliable, changeable.

• Your character is determining your success in life.  Who do you allow to mold it?  Is there any better person to help you with personal growth and emotional health than your spouse?
  
  

• Don’t be a “hardhead.”  Listen to what your spouse is pleading with you about.  Show them at least as much honor as you do to some other person at work!  A hard head leads to a hard heart.

In Scripture, Nabal (whose named means “fool”) was married to a beautiful woman named Abigail.  David’s men had guarded Nabal’s sheep for weeks without pay and asked to be included in his shearing celebration.  Being hard-headed, he refused.

His wife begged him to reconsider.  He refused.  Finally, she stopped a disaster by sending David and his men food from the celebration.  When Nabal found out, he hit the roof!  He got so worked up that his heart became like a stone within him and ten days later he died.

David ended up proposing to Abigail and they got married!

You get the picture?

Listen to your spouse.  They love you.  They know you.  They want you to succeed.  Thank them for the courage it took to point out a character flaw.

“If you will let Him, God will work through your spouse to change you into a far better person.”