These 5 Areas Will Help You Restore Your Sense Of Self-Control

“The only thing you can control in an out of control world is YOURSELF” (Dr. Henry Cloud).

I like to feel like my life, my time, my finances, my health, my family, and my ministry are all “under control.”  Somehow, in 2020, they weren’t.

I guess I never really enjoyed snow skiing that much because it’s “slightly downhill and out of control.”  A high speed "face plant” in a snow fence in Colorado convinced me of that!

Here are some things that restore my sense of sanity, balance, and predictability:

1. I quit letting other’s opinions control me.

   Someone said, “Opinions are like noses…everybody has one.” That principle is on full display on social media!  

   Opinions contribute to my decisions but do not control my decisions.

   I do honor and value feedback.  It is constructive and brings synergy.  A cheap shot opinion, however,  cannot intrude into the private space of my decisions.

2. I work on listening more than talking.

   “Be not rash with your mouth…let your words be few” (Eccl. 2:22)

   I tend to talk more than I listen.  I can, however, control how many words come out of my mouth.  They should be “few.”  A “motor-mouth” is a person out of control.

   Control the flow.  “Two ears and one mouth.”  Ask questions that get others talking about themselves.  It will calm you down, re-center you, and give you greater stability.

3. Honor your true friends.

   I know everyone is called “friends” online. Who were our friends, confidantes, and family prior to cell phones?  Real people!  

   “Followers” are not friends.  You can’t touch them.  When I make time for a coffee, go fishing together, attend their wedding, go for a long walk together, go through their tears together, and put them first, I am their “friend.”  Jesus said, “I have called you friends…” (Jn. 15: 15).

   In a world where people are paying for social media followers, it feels so stabilizing to hold closely to those who truly are your “friends.”

4. Get back to simple finances.

   Too many mortgages.  Too many subscriptions.  Too many vehicles and gadgets and clothes and commitments.

   Lighten the load.  Pay something off.  Re-evaluate subscriptions and back off of too many financial commitments.

   When you are in control, there is CASH!  When you are out of control, you have bought into the credit card, “swipe for satisfaction” craziness of online shopping.  Make your bills, your records, and your bottom line “cash plus plus.”

5. Build in some margin.

   With all our “time-saving” devices, we are drowning in time stress.  

   Bones need cartilage, a “spacer” between joins and bones.  It’s easy to get swept up in “I can pull this off.”

   Take a breath between scheduled events at work, at home, and at play.  “Savor” your activity instead of just “swallowing” it.

You see, now you are feeling some control.  It’s really “controlling yourself.”

Like the tortoise and the hare:  Let’s see who crosses the finish line first!