Have you ever been caught between two loyalties? Chances are, you are not in a “test”: you are in a “trap.”

Nothing destroys relationships like divided loyalties.

Look back over the people who used to be your closest friends. Now, somehow, you no longer speak.

How did it happen? Misplaced loyalties.

I have always loved Psalm 23. It is the favorite passage of many Christians for comfort in times of distress and trouble. The other day, however, I looked at it differently: “The Lord is my pastor" (same word as shepherd).

Everybody sets goals, especially in a new year. Some are attainable and some are hopeless. By now, many have abandoned their goals for the year and some never set any! As a pastor for over 40 years, I learned how to set goals that were motivated by faith.

Stress is killing people. Guilt is not far behind. In between those two extremes is a simple word: “No.” Getting that word out is the hard thing. We hint, we beat around the bush, we psychologize. We stay mad because we couldn’t say that word. We avoid certain people and events because we can’t say that word. Business leaders, parents, pastors, and politicians all have a difficult time saying that word. Your world will change when someone shows you how to say “No.” I’ve battled it for years. After all, they’re my friend. What if I ruin a relationship? Didn’t Christ teach me to serve? What if their reputation tells me that what they borrow will never be returned? How can I add another thing to an already overloaded schedule? Stress or guilt?

Having been in ministry for over 50 years, I have seen that perspiration is often as important as inspiration! People often think of their successful friends as “lucky” or “more talented.” However, they rarely make the connection between their own work-ethic and their success. A lazy, passive, self-pitying work ethic leaves you negative, blaming, unsuccessful…and usually broke! Nehemiah and his men had a “mind to work” (Neh. 4: 6). Those hard-working men built a huge wall in 52 days! They barely slept, they stayed in their clothing, they built while holding a sword, and they amazed the devil’s crowd.

Everyone wants to know how to multiply their business, their finances, and their influence. Jesus showed us the secret by having the crowd of people sit down in groups of 50 before He multiplied the bread. Order precedes multiplication.

I have observed that multiplication is wishful thinking for most leaders. They forget that God is “not the author of confusion” and that everything should be done “decently and in order.”

Everyone struggles with their tongue. Sometimes it feels like a coiled up viper, ready to strike. No matter how hard you grit your teeth to stop it, it will come flying out at a moment’s notice! James described your tongue as a runaway horse: “And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.

Ezekiel and John both saw the four awesome living creatures that stand around the throne of God. Both of them (Eze. 1: 10, Rev. 4: 7) describe their four faces: an eagle, an ox, a lion, and a man. Could these four powerful creatures give us an insight into the nature of God’s kingdom and leadership model?

How do you view impossibilities? Do they intimidate you and stop you dead in your tracks before you ever even attempt to defeat them? I have found that there are usually 2 different ways to approach an obstacle in your life.

Most leaders are struggling to “fit it all in”. From home, to work, to kids, to spouse, to church, to parents we are all trying to not leave anyone out. We feel stretched and stressed. Successful relationships happen on purpose. Here is how to prioritize the relationships in your life and make sure you are hitting the bullseye.

Negative pessimism is a hard monkey to get off your back. It colors everything dull and bland. It stifles creativity, ruins relationships, and makes everything hopeless. You lose sight of all that you “have and are” for what you “want and are not.”

Maintaining stability as a leader is one of the greatest crisis in America today. Business leaders, political leaders, spiritual leaders are “uprooted” from their positions by moral, financial, and ethical failure. How do you maintain long-term stability as a leader?

I’ll never forget being in Lebanon and taking a trip to see the “cedars of Lebanon.” There, perched high on a mountain, these gentle giants were 30 ft. around! I wondered how they received their nourishment and flourished in such a harsh mountaintop climate.

Everyone wants to be a great leader.  They try every book, conference, and seminar.  They pump themselves full of motivation.  They read and listen to the latest leadership strategy.

All good.  The missing ingredient of all of the above?  “Self-awareness.”  

Why is it so hard to forgive? I run across leaders all the time who have deep grudges, bitter feelings, and hard hearts. An unforgiving heart could be in the top five issues all leaders deal with.

Marriages are affected, health is affected, and even generations are affected. Forgiveness 101 is all about conversations, decisions, and memories.

We can put people on the moon but we can’t get cell phones to work everywhere. Communication runs our world now. From social media to digital cable, Internet, and (of course) smartphones, we all have to learn to communicate better.

Great leaders have great attitudes. They always keep their sights above the line. They know if they let that attitude dip below the line, they will eventually crash.

Depression, loneliness, and anxiety are at an all-time high. Yet, we have more possessions, connections, and options than ever.

What’s the problem?

It appears that instead of connecting, we are drifting further apart. We can’t find our friends. Our possessions don’t satisfy us and we have to have more. We try more and more medication to ease the depression and anxiety.

I was on the inside seat of an airplane recently. It’s my least favorite place. On top of that, I tried in vain to pull my sweater off. I felt trapped, really trapped, in a “tight place.”

Are you in a tight place financially, emotionally, or relationally?

So many spiritual leaders are competing these days. Visibility, getting noticed, and ranking is huge. Being the biggest, fastest growing and having the largest audience seems to be all that matters. Where did all this come from and where will it end?

I remember when my Dad found out about a small Nazarene church in our town whose building program was struggling. He volunteered our large maintenance staff to go over and take the project from the sheetrock phase on. We invested heavily with money and manpower.

After a couple of months, their pride and joy auditorium was complete. The 72 year old pastor welcomed us to their small dedication and openly described his amazement at one local church helping another. Why? “The kingdom.”

Guess what? It’s not YOUR kingdom, it’s HIS.

On time is what every airline strives for.  I’m told the Swiss run a news story if a train is a few minutes late!  What difference does it makes to be “on time” and how can you hit that elusive mark?  I can help you with that.

Every Wednesday morning at 7:30 for six years I met our Governor and his staff for a Bible study.  One morning, I WOKE UP at 6:50!  In eight minutes I was up, showered, dressed and out the door!  I walked in breathing hard with five minutes to spare…and learned a valuable few lessons. 

Here they are: