As I go into restaurants and malls, I see parents struggling to maintain control of children.  They beg, bribe, and get angry.  The “little one” seems to come out victorious.  Sympathetic onlookers are tortured as they put themselves in the identical position.  What are the secrets that make it seem EASY?

Melanie and I raised our six children on these principles.  Everyone has a unique approach, but these are what worked well for us:

Leadership is all about momentum and focus.  Leading people out of a comfort zone and into a conquest zone takes skill and experience.   Nehemiah arrived in Jerusalem to a defeated and discouraged population.  In just days, he turned the same people into conquerors who said, “Let us rise up and build.”  How did he achieve that momentum?

Here are my top 7 things to build momentum:

As a pastor for 33 years, I often wondered why so many new believers drop out of the Christian “race.”  Their conversion is genuine but their endurance is sporadic.  It seems to me that as many as 2/3 of the conversions in our churches never connect or fall back into the world.  Where are we missing it?   

Jesus told the “parable of the sower.”  It gives us the secret to our problem. 

Perhaps we should make this parable into the process by which we help believers to become fruitful disciples:

Your attitudes are determining your altitude.  This phrase tells you if you are headed for the “jet stream” or a “slow crash.” How do you adjust your attitude?  The “Beatitudes” are 8 HEAVENLY ATTITUDES and it is time to “think heavenly.” The Sermon on the Mount is the greatest sermon in history.  Spoken in Matthew 5-7, its theme is “heavenly.”  It describes a mindset on Heaven, a heavenly ambassador who represents how things are done back in his homeland.

Everyone loves a “reset.”  I LOVE when the car trip-o-meter goes back to “00000” with one push of a button!  How do you get ready for this new year?  The secret of all growth is to be “reset.”

How do you get reset for the year?

The most popular talent show currently is “The Voice.”  While I enjoy watching it, I often think of how so many people would love to hear “God’s Voice.” 

Line up these factors so you are in a position to “listen”:

God despises pride.  He is all-powerful yet humble enough to wash the feet of His disciples.   He knows that pride was Satan’s downfall.  When I review the history of God’s generals and kings, I come to one grand conclusion:  “STAY LOW.”

Here are 5 ways to guard your humility:

When I was a child, I dreamed about Christmas while looking at a Sears catalog.  I usually narrowed it down to 10 things I wanted the most.  These days, Christmas is more about REST than GIFTS for me!  I asked myself, “What would I love to receive more than anything else in the world?”

I wrote down the 10 things I want for Christmas this year that have nothing to do with material things. Here they are:

We are all human.   We set goals, we envision success.  What do you do when it all comes crashing down? I recently experienced a deep disappointment.  My ninth grandchild went to heaven in his 7th month in the womb.  His middle name was my name.

It was sudden.  It was unthinkable.  The pregnancy was perfect.  My daughter-in-law had to deliver that child and my son had to bury that child.

Disappointments are real and, unfortunately, unforeseen.

What are the secrets to managing disappointments?

You might be saying, “I don’t need this.  I would never have an issue with sexual temptation.” You are the perfect person to read this (see point one below!). Satan targets the most stable, fruitful leaders in an attempt to land a dart right in their heart.

Pay close attention to these thoughts and guard your heart:

The secret of your success is your ability to organize. A disorganized life is disastrous!  Your family, your marriage, your career, your ministry, your finances all suffer.  You keep trying to get ahead but your lack of organization is keeping you mediocre. I’m not the most organized person in the world.

Therefore, I can help you learn how a disorganized person can become…mainly organized:

Love is the most misunderstood word in the English language.  It mainly represents a feeling.  A “warm, fuzzy” feeling of gushing emotion.   I believe love is practical.  It engages in daily honor, respect, generosity, hospitality, and fidelity.  In Hebrews 13:1, Paul said four powerful words:  “Let brotherly love continue.”  Then, he went on to show us four practical ways that love is demonstrated on a daily basis. 

Try these out and see how your “love” is working for you:

Quick to hear…slow to speak…slow to anger.    Those three phrases in James used to bother me.  I had trouble with all three, especially the first one:  “Quick to hear.”   A better “translation” for me would have been, “Slow to listen…quick to speak…quick to get angry!”    Notice that your “listening” starts and controls the whole rest of the cycle.  First listening, then “words” and then your “emotions.”   

What are the secrets to better listening skills?

Most of us have dealt with a “prodigal” (rebellious, independent, foolhardy) child.  It’s true that some parents have never had a child drift away from their faith.  I have, and I can help you with that.

Here is what you do while you are still waiting…

Today, I am thinking about the story of the “four lepers.”   I am presently in Asia where masses of people swarm like an ocean of fish.  Each one has a face, a name, a personality, a family, a need.  Jesus.   Why is missions becoming the lost subject in Christianity with these billions yet in darkness?

Now, we come to the “leper lessons.”  They were starving outside the gate of a besieged, starving city.  They represent me, you, all Christians.  Their story should be our story. 

Here are four lessons I learn from them:

It’s a defining moment.  Christians are confused about the election.  Polls, parties, and mistresses are everywhere.  Everyone’s talking but no one is listening.    Through it all, I feel peace in my heart because I’ve lived through this before. 

Here are the three things I believe Christians should do right now to make it through November 8:

A lot of people don’t believe in vacations.  They feel like they’re wasting time.  They hate to spend the money.  They like their own refrigerator! With six children, we figured out a way. 

Here are our “all-time favorite places” we went in 37 years of raising kids:

"Stuck like Chuck".   It’s a phrase I use to describe the doldrums,  the “dead in the water” times of my life.  Everything becomes same ol' same ol',  acid-cardboard,  plain vanilla,  predictable and passionless. God is a God of endless variety.  His colors, patterns, and shapes are eye-popping. 

How do you get your creativity moving again?

Everyone talks about leaving a legacy.  I want to LIVE a legacy.  Legacy is “when the next generation models their lives and judges their achievements by you.”   

Legacy is about three words:  PURPOSE, COVENANT,  and INVESTMENT.

Everyone needs mentoring.  Mentoring is listening to someone who has made more mistakes than you.

I’ve made a lot of mistakes in 47 years of ministry, and they all boil down to these ten: