Here are a few tips that helped us make fifty years of marriage last week

Only 7% of marriages make it to the fifty-year mark.

We are blessed!

First of all, I was told by my doctor to “call hospice” two and a half years ago.  The Lord has done a great miracle in healing my blood and bringing it up to normal.  I give Him great praise for His mercy.

What a ride it has been: six children, twenty-one grandchildren, fifty years of ministry together.  We have had ups and downs, difficulties and delights, but always “goodness and mercy.”

Let me share with you a few thoughts of how the Lord helped us to reach this milestone:

1.  He helped us to FORGIVE.

Marriage is a commitment between two imperfect people.

You’re going to say some harsh, unkind things.  You are going to get frustrated with habits.  You are going to lose your patience.

Then, you say you’re sorry and forgive.  

Forgiveness may be the number one prize in the marriage journey.

2. He helped us to LISTEN.

I had to learn early on that I didn’t listen.  I heard but I didn’t listen.

My mind was preoccupied with work, bills, chores, and problems.  My ears could hear but my mind was disengaged.

I changed.  I started looking at her when she talked and speaking back to her what I heard.  The world got a lot better.

3. He helped us to COOPERATE.

We often reached a dead-end in some areas of life.  It became overwhelming. 

That’s when we went overnight somewhere and worked on it together for at least 24 hours.  No one was “right,” we just wanted answers.  We did that probably every 2-3 months.

It was synergy.

4. He helped us to COMMUNICATE.

I’m not just referring to talking.  I’m referring to understanding.  

• Why did they do what they did?  

• Why did they say what they did?  

• Do they understand me or am I expecting them to read my mind?

Feedback became very important.  We read the book, Thanks for the Feedback.  We started being able to share feedback without arguing and blowing up.

5. He helped us to PARENT.

We started early with training.  We presented a united front with discipline.  All decisions we made were unanimous.  

We had family nights every week.  We vacationed in RVs and even a houseboat one summer.  We went to ball games and performances.  We kept our children involved with us in services and serving around the church.  We apologized to them when we made a mistake in some way.

Most of all, we taught them to read the Word of God and love Jesus.  They are all ministers in one way or another now, married to beautiful and wonderful spouses.  

These are just a few of the things the Lord helped us to do over these 50 years.

Things certainly weren’t perfect, but they have been amazing.

We are ready for the next 25!

I trust that you will be one of the 7%.