How Deep Disappointment Can Actually Turn Into A Great New Direction
“Disappointment doesn’t have to disable you.”
Everyone walks through it: things didn’t turn out like you dreamed, hoped, expected them to. You are devastated, in shock. How do you come out of it?
Many of us have felt deep disappointment. A relationship breaks up, a prayer seems to go unanswered, a leader’s character is exposed.
How do you turn a terrible disappointment into a new, positive direction for your life?
Process the disappointment.
I’ve seen a lot of people try to ignore disappointment. They don’t grieve. They “will” their way through it.
Burying disappointment doesn’t work. Instead, you have to go back through it. See what you may have contributed in any way to the disappointment. Be sure you learn from that and change those patterns.
All wounds heal better when they can be exposed to air.
Find a friend.
A friend during disappointment is one who does more listening than talking.
They FEEL with you. Job was deeply disappointed but his friends made it worse. They talked and accused. Feedback is good but blame is not.
Find a friend…someone who is not in a hurry. They want to help you turn the corner. Hopefully, it is your spouse. If you are not married, find a best friend and go through it with them.
Turn the corner.
Eventually, you are going to have to turn the corner. People walk the same long road of disappointment for years and never come out of it. You must.
If you are disappointed with God, remember that He is 100% “good.” God and Satan are in a war, remember? Not everything that happens to you came from God’s corner.
If you are disappointed with people, ask God for grace to forgive them and even to bless them. “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
Find a new direction.
When you lose something, that is precious to you. You search until you know it is gone for good.
Then, you get a new direction. You buy another item better than the first. You start the course over. You get some training in what made you fail.
God has replaced the shattered dreams for millions in deep disappointment. He has another relationship for you, another job, another season.
I’m told that the German word for “disappointment” means “to miss an appointment with the wrong thing.”
Maybe what you thought was the best was not the best. Maybe God had something better in mind for you.
Yes, the pain and shock of disappointment is deep. It can’t be wished away. One of my favorite Psalms says it this way:
“Why are you cast down, oh my soul?”
“Hope in God; for I will again praise Him, my salvation and my God” (Ps. 42:11)
Start praising Him again. It’s time to “pivot.” Your next days will be greater than your former days.