They call it the “baptism by fire.”  Fire is pressure.  Fire is refinement.  Fire transforms.

It may be happening to you.  Don’t worry, join the crowd. 

Here are some things to remember about this process of refinement:

Grief is real.  It doesn’t go away quickly.  It requires time, Scripture, and support.

One year ago this week, my son Jonathan lost a pre-born baby.  He and Angie’s journey included a “healing song” Jonathan wrote that has brought them through. 

Here are a few thoughts to help you in your journey of recovering from personal loss:

Temptation is real.  It is bigger than me, but not bigger than Christ.  He faced every temptation I do, yet was never defeated.

What were His three secrets to overcoming temptation?

What is your legacy?

It is not what you build or accomplish. It is your family, your sons, daughters, and grandchildren. 

You may not have children or grandchildren yet. They may be spiritual children and grandchildren, people you are fathering and mothering in their lives. The same principles apply.

Here are my top 5 secrets to successful grandparenting:

ANGER seems to be at the root of the senseless violence confronting our nation today.

People are angry.  Many of them do not even know why.  Most of us have no clue how to deal with them. How would YOU deal with a monstrously angry person?

How many times do couples fight per year?  A British insurance survey said 2,455 (that’s 7 per day!). The survey lists 28 sources of fights with "Not Listening" being at the top of the list!

Here is a thought or two about how to avoid these major annoyances:

Why are people making more, owning more, and interacting more…and enjoying it less?

Solomon had everything:  intelligence, pleasure, productivity, possessions, and long life.  In spite of that, he said, “I hated life!”  Really?

What are the secrets to enjoying your life…without or without all those things?

You have heard it said:  “Interdependence, not independence, is the secret of marriage.”

What is this deadly enemy of independence, and how does it silently worm it’s way into the best of marriages?

It’s that time again.

Millions of kids will be trooping off to their first nervous day of school.

What can you do to prepare for it and make it a pleasant experience?

It is no secret how to have more money:  spend less than you earn.

The problem is not the consumerism we all fall into.  It is when we constantly HAVE to buy more because we haven’t taken care of what we have.

Here are some good ideas to “give yourself a big raise” on the same salary:

“Wealth begins with perspective:  “Your OUTLOOK determines your OUTCOME.”

Your outlook on money and finances are directly determining how much of IT you have.  And…how much wealth has of YOU!

Here are 7 principles Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount (Mt. 6: 19-24) that should control your outlook on wealth:

With the NBA Finals just over, I’ve been thinking about an “MVP:  Most Valuable Player.”  That’s you, Dad.

Researchers have identified that “fatherlessness” is the #1 issue in many nations today.  All of society seems to break down when fathering is absent. 

In 38 years of fathering, I’ve made a lot of mistakes.  I learned as I went.  I don’t want you to have to learn everything the hard way.

Here are my “top 8” lessons I’ve learned along the way:

All of us face hurt.

Some of us choose to forgive. 

The rest of us live in bitterness.

How do you “forgive and forget?”  We have a pretty good Example.

Here are 4 perspectives that will help you to forgive:

Insecurity is a silent enemy.

It ruins your relationships.  It limits your leadership.  It shows up in every decision.  In essence, it is coloring your entire world.

How do you recognize it and conquer it?

People think that when they get married they will “never be lonely again.”  Wrong.

Loneliness in marriage is predictable.  The longer you live together, the less you feel the need to talk.  No wonder so many empty-nesters divorce after their kids leave:  the silence is deafening.

What causes it and how do we cure it?


 

I have noticed that children and parents seem to be drifting apart.  Weeks go by with little conversation or interaction.  My father-in-law, Jim Clark, taught me the greatest secret to raising kids:  the “family night.”

Here are my “top 10” ideas for a sustainable, fun “family night” that your kids will remember for the rest of their lives:

40 million adults in America suffer from some type of anxiety disorder. Millions more face routine worry and anxiety about the day-to-day challenges of life.  Finding peace of mind becomes the goal of every day. 

Of course, we know that chronic worry can be symptomatic of a deep underlying issue in your soul.  We should also not belittle the amazing results medical treatment has done to relieve anxiety. To me, however, we sometimes wear a worry “filter” about everything.  

What are some simple ways to get free from worry?

I’m concerned about the state of marriage right now.  The average U.S. marriage is only lasting 8 years and 2 months.  That averages in all the 40 year marriages like mine!  It may not be the ONLY solution, but it is PART of the solution:  “a weekly date night.”

Melanie and I have tried to practice this for many years.  When our six children all arrived, it became CRITICAL!

You need a break, a “deep breath” from the tremendous pressures of parenting.

       Here is how we did it: 

For a lot of couples, Valentine season is a difficult time.  They celebrate one more year but inwardly they know their marriage seems to be failing.  Often, marriages that seem outwardly successful are privately failing.  How can you fix a failing marriage? 

Marriage failures usually come down to four main causes:

We all want our children to turn out well.  Nothing thrills us more than seeing them go through school, marry well, excel in their career, and fulfill God’s purpose on their lives.  Raising children who love, respect, serve, marry well, and contribute to society is not easy.

Here are five principles Melanie and I followed for the entire 32 years we had children in our home: