Why is it so hard to forgive? I run across leaders all the time who have deep grudges, bitter feelings, and hard hearts. An unforgiving heart could be in the top five issues all leaders deal with.

Marriages are affected, health is affected, and even generations are affected. Forgiveness 101 is all about conversations, decisions, and memories.

We can put people on the moon but we can’t get cell phones to work everywhere. Communication runs our world now. From social media to digital cable, Internet, and (of course) smartphones, we all have to learn to communicate better.

Great leaders have great attitudes. They always keep their sights above the line. They know if they let that attitude dip below the line, they will eventually crash.

I love to pray. It hasn’t always been that way. I have moved from “desire” to “discipline” to “delight.”

As I talk to men around the country, most of their marriage issues center around one word: “respect.” They perceive that their wife’s words are demeaning and they go into shutdown mode.

As a husband, let me give you my thoughts on why this is and how to repair that tension!

“The heart of the issue is an issue of the heart.”

Somebody’s heart has gotten hard.  Somebody’s heart has become selfish or impure.  It may be MINE.

Here are 7 areas I try to continually look into the mirror of Scripture so I can watch over my heart like a hawk:

The will of God:  Is it a “path” or an “environment”? It’s BOTH. You have to “find” God’s path.  You have to “follow” God’s path by your attitude.  

Israel “found” God’s path from Egypt to Palestine (the cloud and fire).  They could not “follow” it because of their attitudes.

Here are the 6 ways from 1 Thessalonians 5 that will help you to “follow” the will of God after you “find” it:

How many times do couples fight per year? A British insurance survey said 2,455 (that’s 7 per day!).

Out of 28 sources of fights, I picked out 10:

Depression, loneliness, and anxiety are at an all-time high. Yet, we have more possessions, connections, and options than ever.

What’s the problem?

It appears that instead of connecting, we are drifting further apart. We can’t find our friends. Our possessions don’t satisfy us and we have to have more. We try more and more medication to ease the depression and anxiety.

I was on the inside seat of an airplane recently. It’s my least favorite place. On top of that, I tried in vain to pull my sweater off. I felt trapped, really trapped, in a “tight place.”

Are you in a tight place financially, emotionally, or relationally?

People think that when they get married they will “never be lonely again.” Wrong.

Loneliness in marriage is predictable. The longer you live together, the less you feel the need to talk. No wonder so many empty-nesters divorce after their kids leave: the silence is deafening.

What causes it and how do we cure it?

Having been married over 40 years, I think I have finally figured out why we all struggle with this.

So many spiritual leaders are competing these days. Visibility, getting noticed, and ranking is huge. Being the biggest, fastest growing and having the largest audience seems to be all that matters. Where did all this come from and where will it end?

I remember when my Dad found out about a small Nazarene church in our town whose building program was struggling. He volunteered our large maintenance staff to go over and take the project from the sheetrock phase on. We invested heavily with money and manpower.

After a couple of months, their pride and joy auditorium was complete. The 72 year old pastor welcomed us to their small dedication and openly described his amazement at one local church helping another. Why? “The kingdom.”

Guess what? It’s not YOUR kingdom, it’s HIS.

On time is what every airline strives for.  I’m told the Swiss run a news story if a train is a few minutes late!  What difference does it makes to be “on time” and how can you hit that elusive mark?  I can help you with that.

Every Wednesday morning at 7:30 for six years I met our Governor and his staff for a Bible study.  One morning, I WOKE UP at 6:50!  In eight minutes I was up, showered, dressed and out the door!  I walked in breathing hard with five minutes to spare…and learned a valuable few lessons. 

Here they are:

As we round the corner into a New Year, we all want to get focused on where we can experience a great breakthrough.

I recently read about the “tree of life” in Revelation. The Bible says it bears “one fruit every month.” What if you could experience “one miracle every month” in 2022?

Growth is first internal, then external.

Whatever your job, your business, your ministry, or your finances, you can grow beyond it this year. Change is inevitable, growth is optional. Wouldn’t it feel good to CRUSH that invisible barrier you haven’t been able to penetrate?

During this holiday season, I like to spend time with the “5 F’s”: “friends, family, food, fishing, and football!”

I also like to take time to give thanks to God for one other “F”: Fellowship.

Knowing God is amazing. Worshipping God is better. Hearing from God is the best!

I’ve pastored long enough to know the mood swings of the holidays:  cheer, euphoria, laughter and loneliness, regret, and depression.

How can you prepare for the “swings of the season?”  Try these six remedies: 

Shoelaces are important.

They hold everything together.  When they are tight, they keep you from falling.  No one tries to walk in loose, floppy tennis shoes without good, snug laces.

YOUR FINANCES HAVE “LACES.”  If they are untended, your entire life could come crashing down. 

What are the 5 financial issues you need to keep “tight?”

All of us face hurt.

Some of us choose to forgive.

The rest of us live in bitterness.

How do you “forgive and forget?” We have a pretty good Example.

Jesus prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

You will hopelessly hold on to hurt until you realize what He knew:

Forgiveness becomes easier when we realize our hurt is really Satan vs. God. People are just caught in the middle.”

How do you “forgive and forget?” We have a pretty good Example.

Here are 4 perspectives that will help you to forgive:

Is it possible that your thought life is holding you back? I’ve watched hundreds of leaders succeed or fail and almost always it goes back to one thing: how much they change their thought life.