Insecurity is a silent enemy.

It ruins your relationships. It limits your leadership. It shows up in every decision. In essence, it is coloring your entire world.
How do you recognize it and conquer it?

My Daddy had a famous phrase: “Keep it simple, hang loose, travel light.” Our problem is that we are carrying too much stuff with us on the journey. I remember a time I was helping my daughter move home from London. She had at least eight suitcases. We were trying to get on the subway for the airport and I found myself at the bottom of an escalator sprawled on the floor with all eight piled on top of me! WE HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF.

Fear and timidity can paralyze you. Anxiety can control your every decision. Confusion can totally derail your life’s focus. The mind is the battleground of life. You will inevitably face storms and crisis. Your mind will be pressed to the breaking point. How do you persevere until the sun breaks through again?

For a lot of couples, changing seasons is a difficult time. They celebrate one more year but inwardly they know their marriage seems to be failing. Often, marriages that seem outwardly successful are privately failing. How can you fix a failing marriage?

“Judge not.”

No Biblical phrase has been more overused (or abused).  Was Jesus actually saying we should have no discernment?  What actually DID He mean and how do we steer clear of breaking His commandment?

Here are the 8 signs of judgmentalism and how we overcome it in our own lives:

I hate cruise control. I hate it but I love it. But I hate it. It is so limiting. It requires me to go only at a certain pace. I love it because I can relax and just ride. I hate it because I want to get there ahead of the guy in front of me! In our world today, everyone is in a hurry. Patients are dying in hospitals because of the haste to move on to the next patient. Everyone is on the move. We are squeezing every second out of one activity to pour into the next one.

Have you ever had the feeling of being overwhelmed, fearful of the worst, looking impossibility right in the face?

“Take courage.”

Have you ever been caught between two loyalties? Chances are, you are not in a “test”: you are in a “trap.”

Nothing destroys relationships like divided loyalties.

Look back over the people who used to be your closest friends. Now, somehow, you no longer speak.

How did it happen? Misplaced loyalties.

All failure is foundational. Whether it is your marriage, your ministry, or your money, it all comes down to one issue: “foundation repair.”
Jesus said that a wise man “digs deep” and builds on a foundation. A foolish man builds on the sand.

Some see grace as your constant “get out of jail free” pass.  We all do, of course, need grace day-by-day for all our failures and shortcomings.

Millions of marriages are smoldering. The passion is gone. The fire is almost out. The excitement and astonishment left years ago. Marriages go through stages as Jesus said: “hot, cold, and lukewarm.” I’ve been married for over 40 years and I’m sure I have been through all three of them! If your marriage needs some “hot sauce,” I can help you with that.

I have always loved Psalm 23. It is the favorite passage of many Christians for comfort in times of distress and trouble. The other day, however, I looked at it differently: “The Lord is my pastor" (same word as shepherd).

Everybody sets goals, especially in a new year. Some are attainable and some are hopeless. By now, many have abandoned their goals for the year and some never set any! As a pastor for over 40 years, I learned how to set goals that were motivated by faith.

Stress is killing people. Guilt is not far behind. In between those two extremes is a simple word: “No.” Getting that word out is the hard thing. We hint, we beat around the bush, we psychologize. We stay mad because we couldn’t say that word. We avoid certain people and events because we can’t say that word. Business leaders, parents, pastors, and politicians all have a difficult time saying that word. Your world will change when someone shows you how to say “No.” I’ve battled it for years. After all, they’re my friend. What if I ruin a relationship? Didn’t Christ teach me to serve? What if their reputation tells me that what they borrow will never be returned? How can I add another thing to an already overloaded schedule? Stress or guilt?

Everywhere I go, people ask me, “How can I marry someone, like Melanie, who will stay together with me for a lifetime?” Over 40 years together with her, I think I can help you in that.

Having been in ministry for over 50 years, I have seen that perspiration is often as important as inspiration! People often think of their successful friends as “lucky” or “more talented.” However, they rarely make the connection between their own work-ethic and their success. A lazy, passive, self-pitying work ethic leaves you negative, blaming, unsuccessful…and usually broke! Nehemiah and his men had a “mind to work” (Neh. 4: 6). Those hard-working men built a huge wall in 52 days! They barely slept, they stayed in their clothing, they built while holding a sword, and they amazed the devil’s crowd.

Against his parents strict orders, a little boy was sliding on his wood floors at home without his socks. A splinter lodged in his foot. He tried to ignore it, butafter several days of hobbling his mother demanded he slip his sock off. There, she saw the truth. She gingerly pulled the splinter out and he began his healing process. Do you have a splinter in your foot?

Everyone has read 1 Corinthians 13. Most Christians know it as the love chapter. I’ve read it a hundred times but struggle to DO IT. The words seem to blend into a beautiful picture, like a work of art. The problem, however, is if I just LOOK at it but can’t implement it. I looked at 1 Cor. 13 a different way the other day.

Everyone wants to know how to multiply their business, their finances, and their influence. Jesus showed us the secret by having the crowd of people sit down in groups of 50 before He multiplied the bread. Order precedes multiplication.

I have observed that multiplication is wishful thinking for most leaders. They forget that God is “not the author of confusion” and that everything should be done “decently and in order.”

Everyone struggles with their tongue. Sometimes it feels like a coiled up viper, ready to strike. No matter how hard you grit your teeth to stop it, it will come flying out at a moment’s notice! James described your tongue as a runaway horse: “And if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle his whole body.