As I talk to men around the country, most of their marriage issues center around one word:  “respect.”  They perceive that their wife’s words are demeaning and they go into shutdown mode.

As a husband of 42 years, let me give you my thoughts on why this is and how to repair that tension!

I have often wondered, “What does a wife really need in a husband?”

She may have money, children, clothes, and a home…and yet still feel a deep need.

Husbands, I think I can help you with one word:  “strength.”

We all need to make changes.  Often, we can’t even see what needs to be changed about ourselves.  That’s where marriage comes in.

“If I will let Him, God will work through my spouse to change me into a far better person.”

Staying together in marriage is not easy. It requires extreme patience, empathy, and understanding.  

I have found the #1 rule for long-term marriage:  “Never doubt God’s wisdom in putting you together.”

Here is how that plays out in real life:

It’s true:  Most of us don’t exercise.

We talk about it, think about it, and hear about it.  The problem is, it is still a million miles away from us doing it.

I think I can help you with that.

Melanie and I have six children, all married, with 13 grandchildren (and one on the way).

I look back over the 32 years we had children at home and can see 12 main rules we followed.

Here they are:

Everywhere I go, people ask me, “How can I marry someone, like Melanie, who will stay together with me for a lifetime?”  Now, after 40 years together with her, I think I can help you in that.

“Fathering is not just a ROLE, it is a FOUNDATION.”

 People without fathering battle deep insecurity, wrong choices, and uncontrollable habits.

What is a fatherless generation missing?

Everyone knows that when you decide to marry you get engaged.

 Everyone does NOT know, however, that it is also the secret to staying married.

Want to know more? 

BALANCE is critical.  Your car tires, your body systems, and even your diet all require it.  

The bubble in a level shows perfect balance.  When balanced, it rests on the “sweet spot.”

How do you attain that inner balance that results in continual rest, freshness, and energy?

What makes women attracted to men?  

Why are some of the most beautiful women in the world married to some of the ugliest men in the world?

Here are some things that women love in a man:

Don’t point your finger at those who battle addictions.  We ALL have either small or life-controlling habits.  How about that Hostess Twinkie you vowed to never touch again?

Freedom is wonderful and attainable.  How do you get free and stay free?

My father told me a life changing principle:  “If you want to be free, you have to let others be free.”  Control never changes people.

That works in marriage, also.  

Why are you so surprised when your spouse is exactly the person you married?

Easter is my favorite season.  I love Christmas as the “beginning” and I love Easter as the “completion.”

How does Easter affect my thoughts, my relationships, and my choices…EVERY DAY?

For all it’s wealth, America ranked 14th on the “World Happiness Index” recently.  Whatever happened to “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?”

Does not a strong economy bring automatic happiness?  Absolutely not.

Here are my top 10 secrets to maintaining a happy heart, regardless of my environment:

Money.  It’s not supposed to be hard.  It is, however, without knowledge.  A zillion books have been written about it, but one small story and three little principles explain it all.

It’s about a desperate widow…

Your marriage may need a total RESET.

Things build up between a couple.  Every Valentine’s Day, millions of married people try to “recharge” their marriage with chocolate candy.

Is it possible for a marriage to actually “reset,” to become like brand new? 

“Know thyself.”  This simple little phrase was spoken by 11 different Greek sages, including Socrates.

“Keep watch over yourself.”  This was spoken by Paul the apostle to the Ephesian elders (Acts 20:28).

Here are 10 things I monitor on my internal “dashboard”: 

All failure is foundational.  Whether it is your marriage, your ministry, or your money, it all comes down to one issue:  “foundation repair.”

Jesus said that a wise man “digs deep” and builds on a foundation.  A foolish man builds on the sand.

How do you repair your foundation?

Jeff Bezos (CEO of Amazon) just went over $100 billion in net worth this week.  That is more than the individual GDP of 146 out of 211 countries!

That’s ridiculous prosperity. 

How do you insure that your soul is prospering that well?