As I talk to men around the country, most of their marriage issues center around one word:  “respect.”  They perceive that their wife’s words are demeaning and they go into shutdown mode.

As a husband of 42 years, let me give you my thoughts on why this is and how to repair that tension!

I have often wondered, “What does a wife really need in a husband?”

She may have money, children, clothes, and a home…and yet still feel a deep need.

Husbands, I think I can help you with one word:  “strength.”

Some see grace as your constant “get out of jail free” pass.  We all do, of course, need grace day-by-day for all our failures and shortcomings.

We all need to make changes.  Often, we can’t even see what needs to be changed about ourselves.  That’s where marriage comes in.

“If I will let Him, God will work through my spouse to change me into a far better person.”

Staying together in marriage is not easy. It requires extreme patience, empathy, and understanding.  

I have found the #1 rule for long-term marriage:  “Never doubt God’s wisdom in putting you together.”

Here is how that plays out in real life:

People are quitting too easily.  They quit a difficult  marriage.  They quit a job.  They quit a hard task.  Anyone can start and have a “honeymoon” but it takes a certain mentality to stay and finish the job.

I love the Message translation of 2 Cor. 4:1—“…don’t throw up your hands and walk off the job because you run into occasional hard times.”

Here are my 6 secrets to “hanging in there…”:

I was always puzzled to read in the Book of Revelation about the “seven lamps of the Spirit” before the throne. 

I finally figured out what they are:  aspects of the Spirit’s work in your life. 

Here they are and what they practically can do in your life:

The suicide of an apparently successful, talented, and influential 30-year-old pastor near Los Angeles this week has stunned American Christian leadership.

David faced unthinkable pressure. He wrote his deepest psalms while living under intense pressure and anxiety.

Here are a few important thoughts to remember about anxiety and pressure:

Grief and regret are the twin prongs of paralysis.  If you can change it, change it.  If you can’t change it, move past it.

How do you defeat the challenge of grief and regret?

This week a bridge suddenly collapsed in Genoa, Italy. That’s not supposed to happen.  Bridges don’t collapse. 

Leaders are not supposed to collapse, either. 

Here is how I look at life's “bridges” that suddenly fall:

Pain is real.  Everyone feels it.

How can you turn your pain into purpose?

It’s true:  Most of us don’t exercise.

We talk about it, think about it, and hear about it.  The problem is, it is still a million miles away from us doing it.

I think I can help you with that.

can look at some people and see defeat.  They look like they have lost:   Head down, shoulders slumped, eyes down.

How do you overcome your problems?  Stand up straight and look them in the eye.

I’ve been a Christian for over 55 years and a pastor for 40 years.  If I could tell you one of my greatest secrets of success, it would be learn to stay in step with the Holy Spirit. 

How do we walk with Him?

You fight an invisible enemy.  He has a strategic plan to gradually, imperceptibly squash your joy. Ultimately, he wants to control your will.

I want to show you first how he takes control.  Then, I will show you how to find freedom!

Melanie and I have six children, all married, with 13 grandchildren (and one on the way).

I look back over the 32 years we had children at home and can see 12 main rules we followed.

Here they are:

Every human being wants the answer to the question, “Does God really love me?”

I can tell you right now, He deeply loves YOU.  I can prove that to you by a simple study of God’s own Name.

Everywhere I go, people ask me, “How can I marry someone, like Melanie, who will stay together with me for a lifetime?”  Now, after 40 years together with her, I think I can help you in that.

“Fathering is not just a ROLE, it is a FOUNDATION.”

 People without fathering battle deep insecurity, wrong choices, and uncontrollable habits.

What is a fatherless generation missing?

Everyone knows that when you decide to marry you get engaged.

 Everyone does NOT know, however, that it is also the secret to staying married.

Want to know more?